Blog & Pastor Letters

What does a homeless person need? That may seem like an odd question since being homeless would indicate they certainly need a home. Beyond that though, what does a homeless person need? Most would guess the person needs food, money, clothing, medical care, and toiletries. Many parishes put together drives for those items. Is that all the person needs? It is easy to get caught up in all the things that easily come to mind so that we miss a key thing needed by someone homeless as well as all human beings: to be seen.

Most people don’t intend on being selfish. The reality of selfishness usually lies in the grey shades of our decision-making. We would never go out of our way to kick a homeless person begging by the highway exit. We would never steal money from our parish collection plate.

But would we drive past the homeless person without even extending a thought or a prayer toward his need? Would we justify stinginess in time, talent, and treasure because of our own comfort? We all have been guilty of transgressions such as these in the past. We will fall again in the future.

One of my favorite movies is the 1991 comedy What About Bob? Bill Murray plays a troubled, paranoid hypochondriac named Bob Wiley who innocently but annoyingly hounds Dr. Leo Marvin, played by Richard Dreyfuss. Bob is paralyzed by his fear of, well, everything, and is convinced the psychologist can heal him. But Dr. Marvin’s failed attempts to heal Bob end up driving the doctor to attempt to murder Bob. He fails. The surprise is that, having faced death head on, Bob is suddenly healed. He attributes his healing to Dr Marvin for breakthrough “death therapy.” In facing the cause of his deepest illness and dysfunction, Bob is healed.

“It’s not that I want you to do it. It’s that I want you to want to do it.”

If you’re married or in a relationship, your partner has probably either said something like this to you or you have said it to them. If one of you hasn’t said it, you have probably wanted to, and it’s likely that a big argument or two was had where you dance around the sentiment, these exact words flashing in your mind like an old-time movie marquee.

I love the verse in Sirach where it says, “My child, conduct your affairs with humility, and you will be loved more than a giver of gifts.” This is an interesting concept for those of us who think a stewardship way of life is all about the giving of gifts. When we start to think that all we are called to do is give for the sake of giving, we have missed the point.

Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media can be powerful tools of communication. They allow people to stay in touch. They provide an avenue for fresh ideas. People can be engaged in conversations and be exposed to issues of the day in ways few could have dreamed of just a few decades ago. But social media can also give the false sense of really knowing someone, when only the surface has been scratched about who a person is in reality.

Have you ever written a check or seen the charge on the credit card machine that had far too many zeros on it for your comfort?

The brakes finally give up on the car you were hoping to nurse through the season. The water heater dies on the coldest week of the year. A medical procedure wasn’t totally covered by insurance. We’ve all been here in this place, being asked to part with a not-so-small sum of money for a not-so-fun reason.

What would happen if you found out right now that relatives of yours were coming into town tomorrow, and they hoped to stay with you? You can either tell them they can’t stay with you, or you immediately begin a process of furiously cleaning, straightening up, and grocery shopping in anticipation of your guests. If you don’t have to do anything to prepare because your home is perfect, clean, and fully stocked, perhaps you don’t live in your home or you are obsessive compulsive. I suspect most people reading this would go into panic mode!

A few months back, my wife and I helped move my oldest son into his frst real aparment. He was moving to star his frst real job and was excited and cautious at the same time. Moving him in reminded me of when his mother and I were frst staring out. We received an old couch from her aunt, some kitchen supplies from my mom, and many other things from friends and relatives so we could begin this new journey in our lives. We didn’t have much. But we had one another, and we had love. Looking back, those were great times.

After more than two decades in parish ministry, my life changed course when LPi reached out to me with an offer to do something different with my life. I hadn’t been looking for a new job, but I had been working for some time to grow a ministry of speaking, writing, and consulting outside of my parish. It occurred to me I just might be throwing away a long career of stability and certainty for a situation that was new and anything but certain.

In my experience, most people can be divided into two groups: those who are old enough to remember when you kept food on hand for company, and those who aren’t.

For those of you in the latter group, let me explain. Before text messaging and social media made us all unconditionally, mercilessly reachable, people would do this thing called “stopping by.” They would be passing by a friend’s house, maybe on the way home from work or shopping, and they would just … stop. With no warning.

So many times in my life, I have failed to start something because I had not yet adequately prepared. I would have started working out or going for a jog, but I needed to get the right shoes. I would have started eating right if only I could find the time and money to buy the right foods. I would have started that journaling project, but I couldn’t without a really nice leather-bound journal. I would have, I would have, and I would have!

If you had $100 to give away, to whom would you give it? Perhaps you would choose someone you love. How about someone on the street at a corner stoplight? You could really make someone’s day if you gave it to them as a tip after a modestly priced meal. There are so many possibilities. No matter to whom you give the $100, you are certainly being generous. No one can debate that.